Are you starting a new school or a new class? Do you just want to make some new friends? Are you nervous about it? You’re not alone. Many people can find making friends scary, especially after being away from school during the pandemic. Here are 7 ways you can make new friends in school or college!
Take advantage of the first few weeks
Something that you might not have thought about is that everybody else will be in the same boat for those first few weeks of school or college. Putting yourself out there and finding friends can be a nerve-wracking experience for anyone and it’s likely that your peers feel just the same as you.
Try talking to someone else who is alone during the first few weeks – they are probably looking for friends just like you and will appreciate the gesture a lot. Sometimes you just need the courage to make the first move!
Make the first move
Speaking of making the first move, here are a few ways to get conversations started:
- Ask open ended questions – this means asking questions that require an answer other than yes or no. It will make conversations a lot easier, and you’ll find out a lot about the other person. Instead of asking ‘did you have a good weekend?’, try out ‘what did you do at the weekend?’. It’ll give you both a chance to explain what you did, and you’ll be able to find out some of their interests too!
- Remember names and listen – if you are in a brand-new class, you’ll probably all have to introduce yourself and an interesting fact about you. This will give you great insight about who is in your class, and you can probably single out people you might have something in common with. Remembering their names and something about them can seem small, but it shows you are interested in them and that you cared enough to listen to what they had to say.
- Compliments break the ice – everybody loves a compliment! Do you like their hair? Do they have beautiful handwriting? Let them know!
Join a club – or start one!
A way most people make friends is by finding a common interest. If you’re finding it hard to do this, try joining a club or even forming your own! Do you like reading, wander down to the library and see what’s happening in there. If you like films, there’s bound to be lots of other film fanatics at the movie club. And if there isn’t a movie club, see if it’s something you can set up yourself – with teacher permission of course.
You could even set up a homework club or join a group that does their homework together. Finding a hobby or favourite school subject you share with your peers is a great way to start conversations that you enjoy with people you find interesting!
Escape your comfort zone
It’s called the comfort zone for a reason – you feel comfortable and safe. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but it can also keep you trapped. Why not try to do something that you would usually turn down because it makes you nervous? Attend the school disco, join your classmates at the cinema, or join an afterschool club even if you don’t know anyone there!
Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do, but try not to let being nervous hold you back. Chances are you could meet some really awesome people and have a great time, then wonder what you were worried about in the first place.
Be yourself
It can be one thing to make friends, but building genuine friendships? The best thing to do is just be yourself! Don’t try and make friends by changing yourself to fit their expectations – it can be exhausting to pretend to be something you’re not, and it’s not likely to make you happy. By being yourself, you’ll make friends with people who genuinely like you for YOU and appreciate you, and you’ll appreciate your friends a lot more too!
Still struggling? Try friends of friends
If you already have a few friends but are struggling to make any more, why don’t you get to know your friends’ friends. Your friends like them so they are probably nice people, and if you find your friends interesting, you’ll probably find their friends interesting too!
If you’re nervous, your friend could even do the introductions for you and get the hard bit out of the way.
Most importantly – be kind!
Making friends, especially genuine friends, can take time. Try not to rush or wonder why you don’t have any best friends so soon – it might not be as quick as you like, but it will be worth it in the end. Say hi to the people you sit next to in class, listen to what they have to say, and SMILE. People love to surround themselves with kind people, and by being kind, you’ll find friends who are kind to you too!
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