Communication is vital to strong relationships both in your personal life and in the workplace. Strong communication is how we connect with other people, collaborate effectively, get our voices heard, and make better decisions.
However, we do not all have the same preferences and habits when it comes to how we communicate. Different people have different communication styles. Understanding your own and others’ communication styles can make a huge difference in how effectively you are able to understand one another and work together. When we do not understand different communication styles well, misunderstandings and avoidable conflict can occur.
Read on to learn more about communication styles, how to find yours, and how to make it work for you.
What Types of Communication Styles Are There and How Can You Find Yours?
There are many different types of communication styles and it is difficult to categorise them into boxes. Different experts have varying opinions on what counts as a communication style.
We suggest that, instead of trying to put yourself into a category, you consider these questions as you build up a picture of how you like to communicate.
- Passive or active? Passive communicators tend to be quiet and avoid attention. They may avoid eye contact, have difficulty saying no, and talk around subjects rather than saying exactly what they mean. Active communicators, however, will have no trouble asserting themselves and stating their meaning clearly.
- Verbal or written? Do you prefer to communicate your thoughts out loud, or in writing? Are you more comfortable talking face to face, or putting your views into an email?
- Internal or external processor? When you need to think through an issue, do you prefer to talk through the options out loud with another person, or think it over quietly in your head and then share your thoughts when they are more fully formed? Internal processors can find those who think out loud overwhelming, while external processors can find those who prefer to think things over to be closed off and unreachable.
- Verbose or to-the-point? Do you like to give lots of detail and context when you share your opinions, or do you prefer to get to the point and share only the most relevant information to the moment at hand?
It’s important to remember that none of these styles are “better” than any other. They are simply different.
Identify Unhealthy Patterns of Communication (like saying sorry all the time or interrupting)
Almost all of us could improve how we communicate, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses in their communication. When you understand your communication styles, you can identify your areas of strength and any weaknesses or bad habits you’d like to work on.
For example, passive communicators may apologise unnecessarily or hesitate to share their opinions even when it would be beneficial to do so. However, they also tend to be introspective and when they do speak up, what they have to say is worth hearing. Active communicators tend to be very direct and easy to understand, but may occasionally come across as tactless or have the habit of interrupting or speaking over others.
Once you are aware of any bad communication patterns, you can pay attention to them and work to change them. You can also ask colleagues or trusted friends to point out to you when you are falling into them so that you can gain more awareness.
Sharing Your Communication Style
Once you understand your communication styles and preferences, it’s time to share them with your manager, colleagues, and any other relevant parties. You should also invite them to share theirs with you. This mutual understanding will give you a greater respect for one another’s experience and a better chance of communicating effectively in the future.
A key part of effectively sharing your communication style is asking for what you need to thrive. For example, you might say something like, “I’ve realised that I’m quite shy and passive with my communication but I usually do have things to say. Calling on me specifically to give my opinion and giving me a moment to talk really helps me.”
Communication If You Are Disabled or Neurodivergent
For some people who are neurodivergent or disabled, communication can come with extra challenges.
For example, if you are deaf or hard of hearing, you may prefer to communicate in written form or ask your colleagues to speak slowly so that you can lipread. Or if you are on the autism spectrum, you may find that you think quite literally and so need colleagues to say exactly what they mean (instead of using analogy, metaphor, or figures of speech.)
It is your responsibility to identify your individual communication needs and share them with the people around you. However, they also have a responsibility to ensure that they take reasonable steps to communicate with you effectively, give you a chance to get your voice heard, and make adjustments so that you can feel comfortable and included.
When you share your communication needs, do so clearly and without apology. For example, you might say to a colleague, “I’m deaf, please face me when you speak to me so I can read your lips”, or ask your manager, “I’m autistic and that means I tend to take words at face value, please can you try to be clear and literal when you give me instructions?”
Don’t forget, of course, to be respectful and accommodating of any communication needs that others share with you, too!
Improve Your Communication Skills
Like any other workplace or life skill, the best way to learn to be a good communicator is to practise regularly. Once you have identified your communication styles and the good and bad habits that encompass them, you can be more aware of your patterns and take steps to improve. You won’t get it right 100% of the time–nobody does!–but you will find yourself getting it right more and more often.
If you want to take further steps to improve your communication skills, you can pick up a book to help you, watch some tutorials online, or take part in a free course such as Alison’s “Effective Communication in the Workplace” or Learn Digital’s “Communicate Effectively At Work.”
