It’s not always easy to know what to do if you see a friend or coworker struggling at work. You can help in small, powerful ways that respect their boundaries.
We all go through difficult times every now and then. It might be a result of work pressure, academic stress, or issues in our personal lives. It’s normal to go through ups and downs and to struggle sometimes.
When people are experiencing difficulties, support from others is one of the most important factors in helping them to get to a better place. But if you see a friend or teammate at work struggling, you might not know what to do to help them. Working relationships can make the boundaries feel more complicated than in personal relationships.
But kinder and more supportive workplaces are also healthier, happier, and more productive. So it is always worth doing what you can to help. Here are a few things you can do if you see that your friend or teammate at work is struggling.
Reach Out and Listen
The most valuable thing you can do for a person in distress is often just to listen.
Your friend or teammate does not necessarily need you to offer solutions or fix their problem. Lending a listening ear and showing you care is a wonderful gift to someone who may be feeling alone.
The first step in helping a struggling person is to let them know that you see their challenges and want to help. Start by simply reaching out to them in whatever way makes the most sense.
If your teammate seems stressed out with work, stop by their desk and ask if they’re okay or if there is anything you can do to help. If a work friend is having a hard time, offer to grab lunch or coffee together and ask how they’re doing and if they need someone to talk to. Even just a quick “you seem a little down today, is everything okay?” can go a long way.
Remember that not everyone likes to talk about their problems, especially at work, so respect it if your colleague indicates they would rather not discuss it. If they do open up to you, practice active listening. This means giving them your full attention, making eye contact, not interrupting, and acknowledging and validating what they say.
Ask Before Offering Advice
When another person has a problem, your instinct might be to jump in with advice to fix the problem. But not everyone likes unsolicited advice, so it is always best to ask before offering solutions.
Try saying something like:
“I had a similar problem last year, would it be helpful to share the things that helped me?”
or: “I have a suggestion that might be useful if you’re open to hearing it.”
If they answer positively, you can go ahead and offer your advice. If they say they’re not looking for advice, respect that and simply be a friendly listening ear instead.
Remember that advice must be given free from expectation. If you offer a possible solution it does not mean your friend or coworker has to take it. They know their situation best.
Take a Burden off Their Plate
If you have the time and energy, can you take tasks off your colleague or friend’s plate to help them out?
This strategy is particularly useful if the problem is directly related to an overfull workload. However, it can also be valuable if someone is struggling for unrelated reasons (for example, bereavement or health concerns.) Giving someone one less thing to worry about can be an incredible gift.
Remember not to overload yourself in your quest to help, though. Transferring stress from someone else to you does nothing to address the underlying problem. Help others, but maintain your own boundaries, too.
Offer Resources
When people are going through a difficult time, they often find it hard to understand what resources they need and get them. You might be able to help your coworker or friend by signposting them to services and resources that can help.
For example, perhaps your company has an Employee Assistance Programme where people can get free and confidential help with all kinds of issues. Or perhaps there’s a great service in your city that you have used when going through a similar problem.
As with advice, it is always best to ask before offering resources. Someone might be doing their own research or handling the problem in their own way. But if you know something that genuinely might help, you can ask if it would be welcome.
Perform a Random Act of Kindness
No act of kindness is ever wasted, as the saying goes. You might not be able to help your friend or colleague solve their problem, but you can probably do something to make them smile. Why not bring in their favourite treats, leave a note on their desk (or send them an email) with a message of support and kindness, or send positive feedback on their work to their manager? These are all small things, but they send the message that you care.
Activity: Pay Attention
A great activity is to simply pay closer attention to the people you work and live with. What sort of outlook and behaviour do people normally have when things are going well? How do they react when things are going badly? What changes? How might you know if someone was having a bad day, and how might you reach out to them to offer your support?
Think about your own needs, too. How do you react when you are struggling? What message might that send to the people around you? How would you like others to respond when you are the one in distress?
Even if everyone is doing well at the moment, paying attention and getting to know the people around you will mean you’re well positioned to be helpful when someone does encounter difficulties.
