Are you a good listener? Active listening is a communication skill that you can build up as a Young Professional. Here’s why it’s important not to interrupt when you are actively listening to someone talking.
What is active listening?
Active listening is a technique often taught by therapists and counsellors but it can help you in all aspects of your life, from work to school to your personal relationships. It is the act of fully concentrating on what is being said, understanding it, responding to it if applicable, and then remembering it in the future.
A lot of us are poor listeners, and some people don’t understand the value and importance of active listening.
Why is active listening important?
Active listening is important for two top reasons.
- It helps you retain and remember the information (particularly important if you’re in a lesson, lecture or work meeting).
- Active listening helps you build a good rapport and relationship with the person you’re listening to.
People generally appreciate being properly listened to and dislike it when the things they say are not being properly heard, so cultivating active listening skills will help all of your relationships whether personal or professional.
When is not interrupting important?
Always! Some examples of times when you might fall into the bad habit of interrupting include:
- Phone conversations (you might be on a work call or call to a friend, and in phone calls it’s harder to read visual cues)
- Group work at school, college or university
- Team meetings at work
How to engage in active listening
- Some of the important elements of active listening include:
- Making eye contact with the speaker
- Keeping your mind open to what someone is saying
- Waiting for the speaker to finish talking before jumping in with comments or questions
- Asking appropriate questions to ensure understanding what it is your turn to speak
- Empathy – that is, trying to put yourself in the shoes of the person who is speaking.
What’s a big barrier to active listening? Interrupting.
Interrupting means cutting someone off when they’re speaking. Typically, women get interrupted in the workplace more than men, but all genders do it sometimes.
Even if you think you’re interrupting for a good reason – to ask a relevant question, offer your solution to a problem, or show that you understand – it’s rude and it almost always negatively affects the interaction.
Interrupting tells the person speaking that you don’t care what they have to say. You think that your voice is more important, or don’t have time to really listen to them. It can even make it seem that you weren’t really listening properly at all and were just waiting for your moment to interject.
Don’t interrupt – try doing this instead.
So what should you do?
Wait until a natural break in the conversation. Let the speaker finish what they were saying, and then ask your question or offer your thought.
Even better, you could ask for their consent before doing so. Something like “I have some thoughts if you’d be open to hearing them,” or “I’d love to ask a question about what you just said” is all you need to say.
This makes sure that the interaction remains a conversation that is positive for everybody, and doesn’t devolve into one person interrupting and the other person feeling as though they’re not really being heard.
